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Healing Takes Work



If you've been paying attention to me and this blog, you know how I feel about this topic. Many people think that healing is just something that happens over time. People believe that healing is a passive thing that we are gifted with time, but the truth of the matter is that healing, yes, takes time, but it also takes doing the work. Healing is active.

Let me explain. Healing is not something you tell your friend you're doing on the weekends. "Hey, bitch. What are you doing tonight?" "Oh my bad I can't come out because I'm healing tonight.". That's not what I mean when I say it's something active. Healing takes intention. Healing requires attention. The same way a physical wound requires attention and intention. When you have a gash on your arm, you have to, first, even acknowledge the gash exists, and then secondly, tend to that gash with antibacterial creams and gauze. You don't see a physical wound and think "Meh, in time it'll go away I suppose." It takes action.


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Inner healing and healing the emotions and mental state are exactly the same. Often times, in today's world of immediate validation, we expect the emotional and mental pains to just disappear. Barely any of us are even willing or ready to give ourselves the space and time to feel in order to heal. We think that if we ignore wounds, they will just go away, while simultaneously running head first into situations that re-open wounds that haven't fully healed and then wondering why we continue on our hamster wheels of pain. I'm not one to talk. Trust me. I have absolutely done this more times than I am willing to admit, but the wonderful thing about doing the inner work is the mindfulness that comes with it. I, at the very least, have recognized those patterns within myself and can catch them before the wheel starts spinning into chaos.

What I mean when I say that healing takes work is that this shit takes facing ourselves. Healing takes facing the demons that live within us, calling them out to fight, and then standing up to them, once and for all. It's being intentional about not living with those demons, but rather, acknowledging them, and releasing the ones we can. We may always have dark spots within us, some laying dormant, some that only come out at specific triggering moments, but the point is to acknowledge, and in some cases, honor them.

It sounds crazy, I know. All of this shit does, but the true work is not in the self care or even self love affirmations. The true healing comes from the dirty, nasty, rotten shit that lives deep within us all. The true healing comes from facing the impetuous fucking voice in all our heads that tells us our worst nightmares are about to come true.


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We all want answers. We all want to know what our futures hold, but the most magical thing happens when we learn to surrender to that idea and release any ounce of control we may want on our situations, whatever they may be. In learning to let go of control, we come to the realization that we are in flow at all times. When we are in flow at all times, we can swim with the current instead of against it and, maybe not always control exactly what happens at all times, but rather, trust that what is happening is happening for our highest healing. We can also be happier people in this process called life, and who the hell doesn't want to be happier?! It sounds counter-intuitive or even counter-productive because that sounds more passive than active, but trust me, learning to let go is also an active event. It takes guts. All of this does.

Healing takes your attention, time, effort, and most of all, love and grace. It is 100% an active event that sometimes lasts an entire lifetime. I can't tell you what your future holds, but what I CAN do is remind you that if you take the passive approach to healing and pray that time fixes your wounds, those wounds will never fully be healed. Go out there. Live your life with the intention, with the purpose of healing.

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